Would You Rather – MCM London Comic Con May 2018

Cats or dogs? Following your dream studying music or actually make money? Rewatch Harry Potter Deathly Hollows part 2 or just not cry tonight? Life is full of difficult choices, and us at EMP spend a decent amount of time going on caffeine induced rants arguing why zombie apocalypses are easier to survive than alien invasions and eventually after realizing we are getting nowhere, we turn to you the fans in all your supreme wisdom to finally clear things up!

After another discussion ending with coffee mugs flying across the room yelling “WITH A LIGHTSABER YOU WOULD CUT OFF YOUR OWN LIMBS” We “collectively” decided to stop arguing fictional questions and head to MCM Comic-Con to meet fans so we could properly discuss “Would you rather”! (the game, not the 2012 horror-movie that Americans are using to torture war criminals in Guantanamo Bay)

Question 1:

Would you rather be a werewolf or a vampire?

Without much surprise vampire came out on top with an insane 85% of the votes in our online-poll! Cause who doesn’t want to be a sparkling, night-dweller on a diet with as much variation as the last 3 Fast and Furious movies. However, a part of me should feel worried cause compared to werewolves that could in theory get tied down or head deep into the Siberian wilderness every full moon a vampire HAS to kill to stay alive. I’m not judging I’m just pointing out the fact most of you would be okay with being serial killers.

Question 2:

Would you rather go on a blind date with Gaston or Prince Hans?

Gaston won with 75% and you are all wrong. Prince Hans is rich. End of story. MONEY!

Question 3:

 Would you rather have a real working lightsaber or a wand?

64% chose wand, which I agree with. If anyone has tried sword fighting they would know it’s hard, exhausting and you get hit a lot. One misstep and you end up chopping off your limbs. It’s the reason in the Jedi universe, building your lightsaber is the final exam before you are officially a Jedi. A wand has a lot of “fail-safes” for example, the unforgiveable curses cannot be cast without the caster REALLY wanting to: and I’m not talking how I kind of want some fries right now; I’m talking “I cannot see myself happy unless I torture this person.” Which begs the question what does “Mad-eye” have against spiders after demonstrating all 3 on one in “Goblet of Fire” …?

Question 4:

Who would you rather have as your boss, Dolores Umbridge or King Joffrey?

71% selected Umbridge and boy I really don’t want to be you guys! The common argument is that Joffrey is a sadist and more of a bully; he is a kid burning ants; he is a teenager that has yet to develop empathy so there is a chance (however small) that he would improve with age. “Yeah but he did sentence people to die!” Well Umbridge sentenced Muggle-Borns to the Dementor’s kiss, a fate that in the Harry Potter universe is WORSE than death. Neither of them would be ideal for middle or upper management but if I had to choose probably Joffrey. Keep your head down and learn to dodge crossbow bolts and you’ll be fine!

Question 5:

Would you rather live without music or without TV?

74% of you said you’d want to live without TV, which I agree with! There is something magical about music, the emotions the instrument, the lyrics! It’s truly a beautiful medium. TV shows are just storytelling. Instead of watching Game of Thrones you could still read and enjoy the books and get the same story there! Even though while Game of Thrones gets new episodes every year, the next book “Winds of Winter” is probably not going to be released before we are facing the heat-death of the universe.

Question 6:

Would you rather go to space or middle-earth?

71% to middle earth! And who can blame them? Second breakfast, elves, more food, magic, cursed rings, Uruk-hai wanting to murder you, Balrogs. Truly a peaceful and wonderful place! Well at the end of the day I have to agree, at least in the middle-earth you get SOMETHING. Compared to space where there is a pretty big chance you float out and find nothing for 100 years praying you become a Xenomorph meal. Only advantage I found is that you can speed up time much easier in space so maybe if you spend enough time out there, “Winds of Winter” will be released when you return to earth in 2851.

Question 7:

Would you rather talk like Hodor or Groot?

Insanely 89% said Groot! I personally expected more variation! Main argument was “people understand Groot”… they DON’T! It’s stated that Rocket understands the WAY Groot says “I am groot” making it easier to guess what he wants after spending so much time with him! But hey if you’re okay with sounding like tree-Chewbacca, I’m not gonna stop you.

Question 8:

Would you rather teleport but only into occupied toilets or be super rich but have all your money in 2 pence coins?

This surprised me – 86% said they wanted the two pence coins. You know how math ruins all that’s fun in life? Well sit tight cause I’m here to explain why there is no way in this universe or the next that would be convenient in any aspect of the word. A 2 pence coin weigh 7.12 gram. You need 50 of them to get a pound so one pound would weigh 356 grams. Multiply by 10 and you have 3560 grams or 3,5 kilos! 10 pounds would weigh 3,5 KILOS! And if you want to have a night on the town assuming you spend 100 pounds (since you are rich after all) we are looking at 35kilos! You need to drag around a bag weighing in at 35 kilos to buy something for £100 and that’s completely ignoring that you have to store a few metric tons of coins somewhere, so unless you go full on Scrooge Mcduck from Disney, you will probably drown in 2 pence coins or break your back dragging around a bag full of them. Teleportation any day of the week – yes they are occupied toilets but just say hello and be on your merry way… they would probably be too shocked to react anyway!

Question 9:

Would you rather be best friends with Iron Man or Batman?

72% said Iron Man. So let’s see you got a raging alcoholic with PTSD blowing things up that pose a real genuine threat to the earth or an rich man that likes to dress up and beat up poor people….. Yeah I’d say Iron Man too.

Question 10:

Would you rather be a superhero or supervillain?

This one is fun because it got some moral ambiguity to it. 72% said supervillain which makes sense because we established in question 1 you guys are not above being a serial killer so robbing a bank with henchmen must be a normal Tuesday. But the fun part is that the way we as a society see morality it’s almost impossible to answer this question, look at Magneto in X-men: it’s a clear example where villain and hero is just a matter of perspective. I think it’s impossible to be either cause a good action for you might be bad for someone else and the other way around. I genuinely don’t have any opinion about this one.

Question 11:

Would you rather fight 20 duck sized Batmen or one Batman sized duck?

This was one of the closer ones with 61% saying they’d beat up a duck. Which actually makes sense since ducks aren’t dangerous. If you have ever seen Lord Of The Rings: Return of The King” they have huge elephant warships on the battlefields, the much much smaller humans STILL manage to take all of them down. Legolas almost does it alone! 20 duck sized Batman might be small but they will still pose a threat. Compared to the duck which will only be dinner for the week.

Question 12: Would you rather be a Jedi or join the Dark Side!

This was EXTREMLY close with Dark Side taking a small victory with 50,3% of the votes. To put that into perspective if that poll was a government election in some countries that would end in a re-vote. However once again we face the same issue as with the superhero or supervillain question: the way humans see morality would make it impossible to decide who truly is good and who is evil. The decision would have to be purely be based on things like if you want to shoot lighting or do mind tricks or have a red lightsaber or a green one.

Question 13: Would you rather be Rick & Morty?

86% said Rick and honestly, the 14% that said Morty PLEASE comment why!? I spend 20 min researching the advantages of being Morty over Rick and I found NOTHING. You can either be a super genius or a nervous teenager… WHY CHOOSE THE TEENAGER!? Please let me know.

Question 14: Would you rather fight off a zombie apocalypse or an alien invasion?

75% said zombie apocalypse and that means most of you will survive. Simply due to weather: humans experience hypothermia when the core temperature reaches roughly 35 degrees Celsius. Best way to survive the zombie apocalypse is really just to go somewhere cold! Get a boat and head to Iceland. Once winter arrives you are all good to go. Even in warm areas given enough time the zombies would just rot away. So you get a nice holiday to Iceland, and we solve over-population! As far as I’m concern the zombie apocalypse can just drop by anytime! I’ll be in Iceland chilling in a hot-spring with a mojito.

So there you have it! All the questions we always wondered finally solved! Well for the next two weeks before we start throwing things in the office again, yelling reasons why “Return of The King” is better than “Return of The Jedi”. But until then, thank you to everyone that answered at MCM and thank you to myself for filming the video and writing most of the questions.

Remember to stay awesome my friends and thanks for reading <3

-Alex Dante